Making mistakes is only natural; and as partners, it is only normal to have misunderstandings once in a while.
When these mistakes happen, and one of the spouses is angry and/or hurt, what stops the relationship from going downhill is forgiveness.
We understand that forgiving is easier said than done, especially when you were really offended or hurt by what your partner did, or if that action is a recurrent one.
In these instances, forgiveness might not be so easy to grant, but with the steps below, you could learn to not only forgive, but also forget more easily .
1. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt
There is always more than one angle to view an issue from. Before you jump into a fit of rage, why not rest easy for a moment, take a deep breath and consider your options.
According to an american marriage and relationship expert Lesli Doares, “choosing the interpretation that puts your partner in the most positive light makes forgiveness a whole lot easier.”
2. Put yourself in your partner’s shoe
Ask yourself this question, “If you had done something similar and your partner was angry, would you want to be forgiven?” Most likely yes, right? Now do unto them what you would have them do to you.
3. Reflect on everything good in your partner and relationship
Do you want to let go of your partner because he forgot one or two details of a long conversation you had last night when he has actually been remembering several others for the past 5 years you both have been together?
Casting your mind on the good things that come with that partner is usually good enough to help you forgive them. Surely there are several good things about them that will overshadow that single mistake or maybe two. Love is about compromises, anyway, isn’t it?
4. Forgive unconditionally
Don’t let your forgiveness be granted only after a request is met by your partner. What this does in the long term, is to make your spouse immune to the feeling of guilt and the need to offer a true, remorseful apology.
The moment they know they can get your forgiveness by meeting some certain condition, you might as well forget about any hopes of genuine repentance.
5. Ask if you played a part in the problem
We all love to display some holy indignation when we are wronged, but hardly ever do we ask ourselves how we are part of the problem.
Taking that step, asking yourself if by commission or omission you might have played a part in making your partner do what they did, it might help you grant them forgiveness more easily.
When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future